I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He passed out mid-signature
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
