To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize