You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
How external is "for external use only"?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
