I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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