you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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