Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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