I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
