'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
