Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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