You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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