i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
