I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
