Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i will never coherently bang her
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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