Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We need to get me chipped asap
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
