I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
