called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize