My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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