so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
