is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
