Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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