Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
