But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
