I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
