In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
