He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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