Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
