I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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