Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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