He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
