I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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