A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
