Moan for me like Helen Keller
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize