Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
