I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize