what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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