All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
