you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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