awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
