I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
