we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
