i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
