i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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