just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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