You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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