I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
