Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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