I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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