Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
