maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
