nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
