Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hippo gnu deer
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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