Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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