Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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