i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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