i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
