how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize