Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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