If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
