I am in a vortex of obligation.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
