reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize