You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
