she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
