Do you still have your period?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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