i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
